• Queen Peasant

Guest Post: Your Shitty Relationship House

Updated: Apr 15, 2019

Today's blog is a feature blog by a Guest Writer...my boyfriend Mike!

Here is his view on...well...relationships....and that view is mixed with some questionably gross metaphors a real talk.

We all have values that we hold important to us and are a part of our identities. These values translate into our everyday lives and sprinkle on to the branches of our relationships. That is why we are friends with who we are friends with, and tell who we aren’t to fuck off.

We build ourselves until one day we open up to someone else and let them into our entire world. Obviously we are eventually destroyed by these people (oh if I didn’t mention this already…this post is for the people who aren’t with there high school sweethearts and have had their heart broken at least once...and if you are with them still, I wish to express from all of us: Fuck you).

This destruction of our old shitty house leads us to having to rebuild and repair of our old foundations into sparkly new ones. Sometimes we mask the real damage with shiny cosmetic house features like new paint and a shiny new car! BUT… the hurricane that came through sometimes destroys things that can never be fully be repaired in your house of shit. Things such as trust, or…herpes. So it leaks, and you put duct tape over it until that duct tape is a year old and starts to unstick, so you start leaking until you put more and more tape on it to mask the damage but in reality it stays like that for the rest of your life, or until you buy a new house.

This is okay…it’s just a quirky new part of your personality, right? I mean, sometimes it’s not okay if you turn into a murderous psychopath but I’ll let you and your new partner judge that.

So…we’ve come far from our last relationship and we finally feel a little better. Our new house of values is bigger and better and we’re ready to open up again.

Except this time, we know where our leaky duct taped holes are. We know that pressure on these fragile areas can lead to a serious leak or even fatal damage to our shitty house of values.

This is where the real challenge is.

You need to know your worth and you need to know your values and these things need to be expressed out in the open or your leak rusted rotten assholes will leak all over the shitty new foundation you’ve built. And then you’ll be too broke to buy a new house with your new partner because you’ve spent all your money on your shitbox!

Okay seriously…Here’s what I’m trying to tell you, no more metaphors of a leaky shit house or home remodelling.


Listen, there are so many potential matches out there for someone like you. It is not their responsibility to decipher what you like and do not like. It is not their responsibility to tell you that they are into Daddy roleplay and then you get mad after month 1 when you wake up to them in a diaper asking to be spanked.

You need to express to them and be true to yourself what it is you want! Is it the first week and you’re already doubting if he/she is the one? Did they do something that you’re quite put off by? Did you communicate that you have Herpes or are they still unaware?

Relationships should not be surprises. Please for the love of god know what you cherish and what you don’t and express that so that there are no surprises. Don’t ignore the fact that this person may not be the one for you. Don’t ignore that they may have serious qualities that break down the foundation of your relationship. And then you blame each other until you can’t even stand to look at them.

And it’s no ones fault that we hold specific things important to us but it is 100% your fault if you choose to ignore what the fuck those things are!

If you don’t like the relationship between your potential lover and their ex then express that, it’s important to you! OR guess what happens? You can ignore it and then blow up after a couple months and break up or build so much resentment your leaky ass duct taped holes are now giant sinkholes swallowing your entire relationships existence.

And whose fault is it at the end of the day? You didn’t say anything and sucked it up because the sex was good right? Or they made you feel real pretty? Or their dick was big? Of they had a nice rack?

It’s your fault. You need to understand that people don’t revolve around your sense of the world of what is right and what is wrong

If you have things that are complete deal-breakers to you don’t ignore or push it down until that relationship ends. It shouldn’t have even started. Don’t so hastefully chase love. Your leaky holes and your forever dwindling role of duct-tape will thank you.

Make sure whoever you build that brand new shiny house with is able to build on the same values that are true to you.



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