The Times They Are A Changin'
I've been feeling lonely lately. Not a depressed type of lonely, but more of a sitting at home on a Saturday night with no plans kind of lonely.
I've realized that this year a lot of things have changed for me, relationship wise. My relationships with certain people have come and gone, maybe run their course, and I find my inner circle dwindling. I haven't had any falling outs with people, but I do find that my inner circle has diminished almost entirely in the last 6 months.
I thought maybe it was me. My mind was telling me that it was. Did I do something wrong? Is this person mad at me? Why is *so-and-so* not texting me back?
It wasn't until I spoke to a few different people that I realized a lot of my peers are in the same boat..and it boils down to: life getting in the way.
Some of my friends are married or having babies, are in graduate programs at school, or finally starting their careers. Friday nights are no longer spent downtown "with the girls" and they're spent more often than not sitting on the couch with a glass of wine watching Netflix alone.
Is this necessarily a bad thing? No.
Is it hard to get used to? Definitely.
I find that I'm spending more time with family now than friends, and more time trying to learn about myself. Making new friends is getting progressively harder, and I find it's more about quality than quantity when it comes to relationships.
It's a hard adjustment, but I know that as time goes on the friends that are truly friends will always be there. Just because you've known someone for a long time doesn't necessarily mean your friendship is fulfilling. You always have to remember that friendships are a two-way street. Both people need to put in the time and effort in order to make it work.
Sometimes reaching out with a simple "I was thinking about you today, how are you?" changes everything, and those friendships where you can connect after a long time like nothing's changed are the best.
If you're in the same boat, don't get discouraged. Things will run their course. It's natural. Just value the friends who do stay, and learn to let the other ones go.